One of the set pieces we have to deal with is a large fake log half-buried in a snowbank. It's a very cute effect. The snowbank was painted green for a Summer Conservatory show. My set designer - the Diva's sister - decided it would be too hard to paint it back and instead decided that someone should hot glue white sheet batting to it.
Finally the log was done. It didn't look great, there were places that looked rather diseased, but people kept reminding me about the 20-foot rule. The first thing my tech crew did was scrape fully 3/4 of the white stuff off the log while trying to move another set piece around it. But, finally, after 2 days of tech, we made it to act 2 and the log came out on stage. There certainly was something to that 20-foot rule - the log looked completely different than it had backstage. There was a moment of silence. Then a small voice from the back of the house rang out.
"Oh my God, it looks like a giant penis."
That voice was mine.
When the crew finished pissing themselves with laughter I asked my lighting designer,
When that round of hilarity passed, I ventured a glance at the stage again. Nope, I still have 2 boys with a sled sitting on a giant phallus.
"
I got a blackout.
