July 23rd, 2020

News Flash

This Was Never Going to End Well

Last month, lonelydumptruck spotted straw poking out from an unenclosed spot in our eaves. He pulled some of it down and banged on the spot every time he went out for about a week and it looked like whatever bird family was attempting to move in with us decided to head to a quieter spot.

Sunday night I went to let Neighbor Lady out the back door after she visited for appies and nappies. There was a small grey and black bird just strolling along our deck like she didn't have a care in the World. We've seen the little bird frequently since then, usually bringing food to our eaves. I, of course, named her. Her name is Birb.

Tuesday night Krista and Dave came by to drop off a Quarantine Stage Manager Kit for my birthday (pencils, a pencil case, Lego themed notebook and a mask) and do some socially distant hanging out. I left the backdoor open so Neighbor Lady could come say hi after she woke up from her nap since the very first thing they asked was if she was going to stop by for a visit.

At some point I looked up and saw Birb looking back at me through our living room window.

So we all go inside to help Birb figure out how to fly out a window. The commotion woke up Neighbor Lady, who knew exactlty what that flapping noise meant. She came trucking out of her room (the guest room) in full apex predator mode. It was almost adorable. I got her scooped up and handed to Dave before she found a pounce-position, they took her outside and reported they could hear peeps from under our eaves. Because of course that's what was happening. Birb got out fine, Neighbor Lady went on her way, all was well in the World.

Last night I was sitting here blogging, as I do, when I heard Neighbor Lady crying out our door, just a panicked sound. There was a bald eagle in the neighborhood a couple months ago, so I hop up to let her in and she just dashed past me like someone had tied a firecracker to her tail.

Then I saw the little feet and grey and black tail feathers sticking out of her mouth.

I started bellowing something eloquent along the lines of NotFuckOutDammitNoTheOutGetFuckOutDrop!!!!!, which scared Neighbor Lady so badly she spit out Birb like a pill hidden in kibble. Blessedly unhurt, Birb started trying to get out closed windows, Neighbor Lady hid under the table until she thought it was safe to try to make another pounce, I threw Neighbor Lady out the front door and then lonelydumptruck and I spent about 20 minutes trying to find where Birb was hiding.

He was afraid poor Birb had died of a heart attack but we eventually found her on the cabinets over the fridge and guided her out the window of the den. A very smart exit choice on Birb's part since Neighbor Lady was, I shit you not, waiting on the deck and watching the window where Birb escaped last time.

lonelydumptruck says he has seen Birb poking around today, but we still seem to be on Neighbor Lady's Snub List after ruining her fun.