February 5th, 2011


Save Us


I am stage managing for the Civic Orchestra tonight. There is a cheer competition in the big theatre.

I come around the corner and two of the teenage boys from the competition have the little wheeled square maintenance uses to move the big garbage cans. One boy is sitting in it and the other is pushing him towards the slopped hall outside the admin offices.

So I holler down the hall to them "Hey! Bad Idea Bears! Bring it back!"

Who says you can't learn anything from a Broadway show?
Between You and Me

Saturday Confessional

While stage managing for the Civic Orchestra is one of my favorite events each season and I love house managing for various concerts, the amount I know about classical music could not even fill the 'u' in 'fuck all'

Case in point: last year I was house managing for a youth symphony event. I was instructed to let in late arrivals at the end of each movement. I had at least 10 parents crammed into the alcove between the outer and inner doors so they could at least hear their little darling play. Every time, EVERY time there was a pause in the music I would reach for the door and one of the moms would murmur "Not yet."

This went on for at least 10 minutes, I shit you not. I still can't believe none of the parents took advantage of my ignorance to slip in early.
Little Miss Giggles

(no subject)

I always say stage managing the Civic Orchestra is one of my favorite events. Here is an example of why:

I was chatting with one of the musicians after the rehearsal last night and he told me that, years ago, they had a guest conductor who was known for throwing his baton at orchestra members if they made mistake.

Knowing he was not a perfect player, the musician told the conductor at one of the first rehearsals "I'm a police officer. I have handcuffs and a gun with me. If you throw your baton at me, I will arrest you for assaulting an officer. If you throw your baton at anyone here, I will charge you with misdemeanor assault."

"Well," huffed the conductor. "That is just my way."

"Then find another way," says the musician.

They were rehearsing the 1812 Overture. You know, the one with the cannons? But instead of cannons they had a little guy off stage playing the part on kettle drums. Because he was little, he had a hard time seeing the conductor. The orchestra reached the climax of the piece with the cannons going off madly and, of course, the end of the piece, but the guy didn't see it and just kept on drumming away like Animal.

Finally he notices it's sounding pretty lonely out there (since he is the only one playing) and he peeks out onto the stage. The conductor is standing there glowering, arms folded and the baton is twitching, just *twitching*.

After a moment, the conductor spoke.

"I have only one thing to say. I think you should keep beating them. They are not dead yet."