| April Fool | |
 benvolioonspeed | trims your hedge into a replica of the Venus de Milo. |
| brendanwishes | glues your cat to your bedroom ceiling. |
| dusty668 | has a hundred large anchovy pizzas and a diet coke delivered to your door. |
| dykewife | legally changes your name to MoonBeam Cappa. |
| expatriate | TPs your elderly relatives. |
| kornopolous | enlists you in the French Foreign Legion. |
| poisondartfrog | sells your house on Ebay. |
| terlan | eggs your car. |
| vmperella | smiles. All the time. |
| who_is_sylvia | buys you a Russian Bride. |
God, I hate you guys.
Except you,
dusty668 you may go in peace. 