|benvolioonspeed||trims your hedge into a replica of the Venus de Milo.|
|brendanwishes||glues your cat to your bedroom ceiling.|
|dusty668||has a hundred large anchovy pizzas and a diet coke delivered to your door.|
|dykewife||legally changes your name to MoonBeam Cappa.|
|expatriate||TPs your elderly relatives.|
|kornopolous||enlists you in the French Foreign Legion.|
|poisondartfrog||sells your house on Ebay.|
|terlan||eggs your car.|
|vmperella||smiles. All the time.|
|who_is_sylvia||buys you a Russian Bride.|
God, I hate you guys.
Except you, dusty668 you may go in peace.